Raya. Ahava. Bawth.

Last night was simply amazing. We had renowned worship leader/singer/writer, Charlie Hall, give a concert at our church last night. Incredible!

He was speaking at one point during the evening and he said something about how God used to call him C-Dog. I took pause and I thought about that. I absolutely LOVE the idea of being so close to God, being such good friends with him, that he has a nickname for me (hmmm - what would it be? Raya? Ahava? Bawth?**). Isn't that just a cool thought? To know him so well that we have inside jokes together. To build such a relationship with him that we have memories together like, "Hey God, remember that one time when we...?" I want God as part of my crew. I want to do life with him. There is nothing I want more. A simple desire to just "be" with God.

I want to get to that place where I can't help but just run - not walk, not jog - but all out sprint hard, follow hard after him. To be completely drawn towards him. Completely filled by him leaving no space uninhabited by him, no room left for anything else - to have a God-shaped heart. He created us to be magnets compelled to him - our True North. We should be just automatically drawn to him without effort, requiring no work, no hard labor. An effortless, easy relationship.

On the other hand, I never want to get to a place where I am complacent with where I am in my relationship with my God, to have had enough. To be satisfied would be to declare that there's nothing more to know about him or myself in him or his infinite, sacrificial love for me. That there's nothing left that he could possibly teach me, that I know it all already. To be content would be to say that I am equal with him. I don't ever want to become so wholly satisfied with where I am that I fail to see there's somewhere else for me to go, an infinite Point B, a moving forward that is always required. Never stagnant. Never immobile. Always dynamic. Always changing. Forever growing.

Abba - Help me to always be moving in the direction of you, to never stand still. If I am not running, then hopefully at least I am jogging. If not jogging, then walking. And if not walking, then crawling. Finally, if not crawling, then I pray that you would come and pick me up and carry me. I am a magnet and you are my North; I am forced towards you and your mystifying, luminous love for me. Amen.

** Raya = Friend, companion, someone you hang out with; Ahava = Love; Bawth = Daughter