the effects of light...

I don't have much today so I thought I would share one of my writings with you.

I watch you there living life in your own way and I find that I am often sad for you day after day.
You live fiercely clinging to the theory that when you're in the shadows, it's okay because no one knows;
And the effects of light can be damaging, revealing, shameful.
As long as you stay out of the light, life is fine;
people pass by and pay you no mind.
You live afraid to stumble into the sun for fear you might get noticed.
And you live afraid to stay in the shadow for fear you won't get noticed.
You put all this effort into not drawing attention to yourself
But you're conflicted because you actually want attention;
Only you want it without fear, without risk, without doubt;
but you know deep down, down where it counts
That there's always a risk in letting someone get close enough to notice you.
So you decide that it's better to live unnoticed, because unnoticed means un-judged and un-judged means unwounded and finally doesn’t unwounded mean whole?
If unwounded means whole then why do you feel so empty? Decrepit, broken, incomplete…?
All things you thought you'd be avoiding as long as you stayed out of the light.
I watch you passing life by believing with all your might that
Surely the effects of light would be harmful, revealing some hideous thing
And depositing it there in plain sight for all to see and point out and call
attention to,
Harmful like the sun on your pale skin - cancerous and malignant and ugly.

You don't remember all the other times you paused here under this tree
And noticed the ground where the light comes down and mingles with the shadows.
Piercing the gray with its yellow-orange beams until it shimmers and gleams,
Casting beautiful patterns dancing and playing, so carefree -
Shadows chasing the light, as if they're playing tag during afternoon recess
Light chasing the shadows until the two gracefully coalesce.
You glance up into the trees and see the light twinkling off the leaves
And you smile as you hear them tap-dancing in the breeze
As the leaves rustle together, clinking like rain on tin.
You always think it's perhaps the most perfect balance of shadow and light;
It's revealing but reveals nothing ugly, nothing shameful within.
It only reveals the beauty of what is really there, like a soft waltz in candlelight.
But that's just a tree and sunlight; you've always been convinced the same can't be true of you.
And you'd hurry on your way darting your eyes around to see if anyone noticed,
Noticed you there watching this simple miracle as if it were some rare unfolding lotus.
I watch you surviving this way and so often find my own heart breaking,
Breaking for you because don't you realize you're aching?
I watch you and always think how much more magnificent is the rainbow
With all its brilliant colors and how it gets its vibrant glow?
I watch you and now I am shedding light on you and the image couldn't be
clearer.
You forget that the most tragic result of being unnoticed is being unloved
And that in itself is the most cancerous and malignant and fatal of all; it's cancer of the soul.
I am close to you, I know you, I watch you in my mirror, just aching to be whole.
I watch you and pray with all my might,
I watch you and this time, this time you step into the light
Letting it shine with grace on your upturned face, revealing nothing ugly, nothing shameful within
Only revealing the magic of what’s really there – all that's meant to be seen, all you have to share.
Revealing protected truth, unveiling shrouded youth.
Pulling back your cloak, drawing up the blinds, opening the window to your soul
Let the fresh air in, breath of Heaven, one step closer to feeling whole.
Finally allowing someone the pleasure of bearing witness to the beauty of who you are:
From the clouds came rain drops in the sun, attracting and refracting light
Casting every perfect color, revealing every enchanting hue, a miracle so bright, all the splendid shades of you;
And beaming, tearing, piercing through the thick dark night, a northern
star.