29 December 2005

something meant just for me...

Which of the following would be most likely to ruin a 10-day California vacation over the holidays?
A. Lots of time to do nothing but watch movies and hang out with the best cousins in the world
B. Finally seeing Chronicles of Narnia - not once but twice
C. Being hit with both a sinus infection and the flu virus and having to spend 5 hours in the ER
D. Your cousin's screaming-without-ceasing 10-month old baby

Yeah, it's been great. I love that I have been able to spend time with my favorite cousins. That part has been a lot of fun. But I have had a high-grade fever since Tuesday and every day I have felt a little more debilitated. Today, when it took me a whole hour just to get dressed after my shower because I was exhausted, I decided I should probably go in to the ER. Since I am a student I don't have insurance currently so I wasn't really looking forward to the hefty bill. 5 hours later I learned I have both a sinus infection and the flu virus. One's treatable, the other's not. The good news is that the hospital I went to has a financial aid program and I was told that my entire bill will probably be completely covered. And my prescription antibiotic was free. There's a pharmacy here in town that is giving away the exact drug I needed. They'll give a 10-day supply as long as you have a prescription. Those 2 things made me feel better almost immediately. I have started the antibiotic and I feel even better besides the fact that my fever has broke and I am now sweating profusely.

At one point today in the waiting room I leaned my head on my Aunt Hope's shoulder. I started crying. She knew why and she just rubbed my arm. It was just really hard having her take me to the ER. It was like I was little again and my mom was taking me to the doctor. For a long time my mom couldn't come with me to the doctor or the ER because of her immune system. She was so susceptible to the illnesses there. I just cried and she let me. Then later at the pharmacy, something about the way she was standing and the way she was nurturing and how she insisted on buying me soup and something about the way she was just there for me made me just break down all over again. It was all kind of a healing experience in a way too. I think it was a way for me to experience my mother's nurturing love that she wasn't really able to give most of the time because of her illness. I can't explain it but then I guess I don't have to and maybe I shouldn't anyways. Maybe God planned this to be a private thing, a special thing. Maybe it was something meant just for me.

2 comments:

amy said...

Oh CJ. I wish I could hug you right now.

Mark D said...

Glad to hear you are doing better and that the cost of the ER will more than likely be covered.

Praying for quick recovery and supernatural comfort for you.

Hugs and sister-love,
Mark D