ya gheli du?

That is Athabascan for, "Is it good with you?" I hope so. It is with me. For the most part. Thanksgiving was fantastic. I was able to get away from people for a few days while I was housesitting and that was a very welcome change. I spent Thanksgiving Day among friends who have become stranger (that is, even more strange than before) and strangers who have become friends. I did have my feelings hurt badly by a boy who is no older than 8 years old. And then I started to think about what the boy must be facing in his own life that would allow for him to say such a hurtful thing to someone whom he had never before met. And it broke my heart.

There was some sad news this weekend too. One of my friends, Millie, was set to be married in February to the father of her little girl. She has been busy making wedding plans and designing invitations and everything that goes along with it. Her fiance was found frozen on Sunday morning in a village way up north. I have not heard the details surrounding his death but I do know that his death is a tragedy and a mystery. He had been with her just the night before taking her on the back of his snowmobile from Noorvik to Kotzebue, about a 2 hour trip. Something devastating had to happen between that time and the time that he died. Just pray for her and his family. His name is Joe.

I saw a movie Friday night with my friend Jeff. Deja vu is a great movie and here is just a little piece of trivia for you: there is an ambulance in the movie and on the front of it where the license plate should be there is one of those dealer advertising tags, you know what I am talking about? Well, it is from Olathe Ford. Olathe, KS is a suburb of Kansas City; it neighbors with Overland Park, which is where I moved from to Alaska. It's an action-packed movie - a little sci-fi, a little thriller, a little crime, etc... It was kinda scary too, what they were "playing" with in the movie. See it and you'll know what I'm talking about.

I am working on a couple other posts, one of which I hope to have up by this weekend.

thanksgiving...

Tomorrow is a day set aside each year for thanksgiving to God for the blessings in life that he has given unto us. I just wanted to take a minute and list only some of the things for which I am thankful:

• friends - you are the family that I get to choose. I love you all, including my blog friends whom I have never met in person.
• family - you are the friends that I don't get to choose. I miss my family immensely. I love you!
• faith - it's not just believing in God, it's believing God (what he says, etc...); believing that he is who he says he is, he can do what he says he can do, I am who he says I am, that I can do all things through Christ, and that his Word is alive and active in me. I'm believing God!
• memories - one in particular that I have been thinking about recently... My mom passed away in March of 2000. I remember a very specific group of special friends that gathered around me during that time to comfort and support me. I asked them to come to the hospital, about 15 of them I think, to be with me before she died and by the time they got there she had passed. Their presence there was so comforting for me. I will never forget you guys.
• dreams - two of which I am living out every day (living in Alaska and going to Bible school).a warm place to stay this weekend - I am housesitting for some friends until Sunday. And they have a yellow lab named Sunshine.
• for rest. Do I really have to elaborate on that?
• for the Sabbath - rest for the soul and an opportunity to grow in intimacy with God.
• for opportunities to serve others and in doing so, serve the Lord.
• for love.

I could seriously go on and on and on with this for a long time. But those are the most important things to me right now.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, old friends and new, family or not. I love you. I will not be on again until Sunday.

casting stones...

Chapter 8 of the biblical book of John tells a story of a woman, a prostitute to be specific, who was brought before the crowd to be judged. The Pharisees looked at Jesus and told him that the law demands that they stone such a woman and asked him what his thoughts were on the matter. I love what he had to say, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." He exhibited the ultimate in love and compassion toward the woman. Everyone standing around her already with stones in their hands, dropped the stones they were holding and began to walk away leaving Jesus alone with the woman. When all the others had left, Jesus spoke tenderly to her and told her that since no one else condemned her neither would he. And he commanded her to leave her life of sin.

This is the biblical model of grace that we should be following. But instead we are so quick to judge with our stones built of accusations and harsh words clutched firmly between our fingers ready to be cast. We stand gathered around the accused in a throng of pious and proud law followers trying desperately to hide the indiscretions we ourselves committed not hours before. We cling to the comfort of the crowd believing that there's strength in numbers. We say to each other that we can't believe how far the person fell from grace and we would never be able to do such terrible things.

And then we are called out either by Jesus himself or by someone who has decided to advocate on behalf of the accused and give voice to the voiceless. We are reminded that we will be judged the same amount that we have judged others and the measure we give out is the measure we ourselves will receive. And we remember that grace has no boundaries. It is infinite and unconditional and perfect. And really the person has fallen to grace and not away from it. We are the ones who have fallen away from grace and tried to define it and put boundaries around it. And who are we to do that? Who are we period?

One of my favorite authors, Donald Miller, says in his book Blue Like Jazz that we are all capable of committing the sins that we self-righteously claim we could never possibly have the ability to commit: murder, adultery, etc... You know, the "big" sins. But really sin is sin is sin. A lie is just as bad as murder and stealing is just as bad as sexual immorality. Billy Graham even said, "Everyone has a little Watergate in him."

I am so tired of hearing people, those who call themselves Christians, casting verbal stones at those who have fallen off the spiritual pedestals that we ourselves put them on and into the darkness of the abyss below, those who seem to have proven their humanity in what we think are the "worst" ways. I agree that we are to hate the sin and love the sinner, but how is judging them loving them? It isn't. Instead of casting stones what we should be doing is putting an arm around our fellow brother (or sister) and saying, "Jesus has not condemned you and you know what? Neither do I. Come with me and tell me how I can pray for you. Tell me how I can best love you where you are and love you past the pain of where you are and into the light again." If it were you, what would you prefer?

nightmares...

I have had some pretty scary dreams lately. I have had 3 dreams since the start of the semester in which I was possessed. The first one was the scariest and I had it once before - during Spring semester. In my dream I was staying the night at my dad's house back in Kansas. In the dream I was possessed and was being levitated off the bed and was hovering up near the ceiling looking down. There was lightning in the room and all kinds of loud noise. The next morning, in my dream, my dad asked if I was okay the night before. I guess I didn't remember because I said that I was. He told me that he heard me yelling, "I will worship your principalities and bow to you, the Prince of Darkness," and that kind of stuff. It must have been a Sunday in my dream because we went to church after that. The church in my dream was in a mall for some reason. And I was sitting in the front row. The pastor started talking about something and I started cackling and was levitated again and floated out into the mall and was swooping down and picking up children and dropping them over the 2nd floor railing and was laughing the whole time. Then I woke up. Like I said, I have had that one twice and woke up at the same time both times. There was another one, the one I had last night, in which I was killing children. I don't remember all the details but just that I was killing them.

I have prayed for God to protect my dreams and to protect my mind while I sleep and have had others pray the same thing for me while laying hands on me. I am really scared about all of this. I don't understand why this is happening to me. I am seriously scared. I can't even put it into words accurately, how scared I am. Please pray for me.