a recap of the last week or so...

The last week to week and a half has been good. Valentine's Day was pleasant for the most part aside from the hurtful comments of one gentleman who has since sought forgiveness and I gave it. I went away on a retreat last weekend up north of Anchorage. It was nice and much needed. It was on spiritual armour and spiritual warfare and the authority that is given to us by the Lord Jesus Christ. I learned a lot about exercising that authority directly instead of going through God. For instance, I had been having dreams lately about demons and possession. I would pray to God that if there was anything there with me that wasn't from him that he would drive it away. Of course, there's nothing wrong with that but I learned that I can be even more effective by commanding the devil myself directly to leave. I have tried it and it is indeed more effective. And I started getting money in for my trip to London in April which is good. And I have more coming that's been promised to me which is also very good. I am getting quite excited about my trip. If anyone knows of someone that lives in London that wouldn't mind taking in a female college student for a few days I would appreciate the contact and a warm place to put my head.

And tonight I had a date. It was a first date all over again with a guy that I had been out with before, last October, several times and then wound up being different than I had originally thought. He contacted me about a month ago probably apologizing profusely and saying that he was glad I told him how I felt, etc., that he didn't expect me to forgive him but that he was sorry anyway and how horrified he was at the things he said to me the last time I saw him. He went on to say how beautiful, intelligent, and fun to be with I am. And how he had spent the last 4 months or so in a place where he had to deal with a lot of things, ugly things in his life and how much it had changed him. I had forgiven him back in October fairly quickly after that last night but I waited a few days after receiving his email and then called him to tell him as much. He was, of course, shocked to hear from me but I told him that I forgave him and we talked a while. And thus began a month or so of getting reacquainted with each other through email and over the phone. I was able to read some blogs of his (I don't link to him and he doesn't know about mine) and from what I read it was fairly evident that he had in fact done some changing and decided that it would be hard for him to put up that kind of a facade with all the people that read his blog if it was only for my benefit. It seemed as though he was being very intentional with me and I really enjoyed it. He called me on Valentine's Day, I think it was, and left a voice mail asking if he could take me out sometime. So when I got his message we agreed on tonight and continued to email back and forth and talked on the phone last night. And this morning when I got to work and logged into my email I got this message from him...

I think you have great ideas and I'm looking forward to seeing you.
A few days ago, while I was walking the (snowy) beach during lunchtime, I remembered your words. When I asked you one night last fall what the ocean was saying to you, you said, "I am God and I am awesome." And you expanded your thoughts for my benefit. Makes me think of Job 12:8, "Speak to the earth, and it will teach you." See ya tonight!

It made me smile. And the day flew by and I met him at Veronica's at seven o'clock for a steamer and some great jazz music. He was already there when I arrived. He stood when he saw me and gave me a hug and it was comforting and familiar. We sat and talked by the fire and listened to the band play. His blue eyes would search me and reach into places long forgotten. We talked about seeing a movie but because he had an hour drive ahead of him to go home we called it an early night. He hugged me and promised to call me again soon. I don't know what I think right now. It seemed good but I don't want to be naive about this. He knows that he's on probation with me, that if he treats me even remotely similar to the way he did before that he's out for good. I want to believe him but I am just not sure. I want to trust that God has the very best for me and I don't want to settle for anything less. I want to be smart about love. Not that I am in love with him but I just want to be smarter about matters of the heart than I have been in the past.

Poppa, I wish that you were close by. I would come over and talk to you about all this stuff. And you could maybe meet him too. You've always been a good judge of character it seems like. I miss you and I love you.

happiness is love shaped...

In honor of Valentine's Day, I put the word love into the slogan generator (see the link in my sidebar under online entertainment) to see what it would come up with. These are the results; some are really quite profound and some are simply fun. Enjoy!

Love is mightier than the sword!
Every kiss begins with love.
Come to life, come to love.
Behold the power of love.
Only love can prevent forest fires.
Happiness is a cigar called love.
Go on, get your love out.
The love effect.
Love really satisfies.
I’d walk a mile for a love.
Happiness is love-shaped.
Built love tough!
Love: It’s everywhere you wanna be.
Grab life by the love.
Let the love out.
Let the love begin.
I saw love and I thought of you.
Love – the freshmaker!
Splash love all over.
Fill it to the rim with love.
It’s how love is done.
Simple impartial love.
See the love, feel the shine.
Wear love.
You can be sure of love.
A day without love is a day without sunshine.
A different kind of company. A different kind of love.
Designed for love.
Love saves your soul.
We do love right!
I scream, you scream, we all scream for love.
A love works wonders.
What can love do for you?
It’s a beautiful love.
Out of the strong came forth love.
Turn loose the love.
Challenge love.
Don’t get mad. Get love.
4 out of 5 dentists/doctors recommend love.
Don’t be vague. Ask for love.
Ding-dong! Love calling!
The love of a new generation.
It needn’t be hell with love.
Love is Job #1.
If you can’t beat love, join love.
Only a fool breaks the love.
Don’t leave home without love.
When the going gets tough, the tough get love.
You’re never alone with love.
Love makes everything better/taste better.
The best part of waking up is love in your cup.
Made In Scotland From Love.
Bridge that gap with love.
Watch out, there’s love about.
Love born and bred.
You need a love.
It’s how love is done.
It’s a love adventure.
Keep that love complexion.
We’ll leave the love on for you.
There’s always room for love.
My anti-drug is love.
My doctor says, “Love.”
Love wanted.
This is not your father’s love.
Promise her anything but give her love.
Moving at the speed of love.
Love tested, mother approved.
The world’s love marketplace.
Let the love out.
Love prevents that sinking feeling.
Wait ‘til we get our love on you.
Gotta lotta love.
Got love?
If you’ve got the time, we’ve got the love.
Nothing works better than love.
Top breeders recommend love.
Let’s face the music and love.
Obey your love.
Choosy mothers choose love.
Hand-built by love.
Just do love.
Only love has the answer.
Strong and beautiful, just like love.
With a name like love, it has to be good.
Turn loose the love.
Is love in you?
Let the love begin.
Hope it’s love, it’s love, we hope it’s love.
Love is so bracing.
Come one, come all to love.
All you need is love and a dream.
He who thinks love, drinks love.
Love keeps going and going…
Life should taste as good as love.
Snap! Crackle! Love!
Oh hungry? Oh love!
Get the door – it’s love!
Love – it does a body good.
Great love. Great times.
Tonight, let it be love.
Step into the love.
Love, and on, and on…
I think, therefore love.
More love please.

Happy Love Day everyone! I love you guys!

containing the universe...

So I was home today battling the stomach flu and after sleeping most of the day I decided to check my email as I had not yet received word on my acceptance to attend a summit in London in April on human trafficking. I logged in and found the following email...

Dear Christina,
Thank you for applying to our Bringing the World Home: Stopping Human Trafficking conference. We apologize for the delay in responding to your application. We received a record number of applications and it took more time than expected to go through them all! However, we are delighted to inform you that you have been selected for the summit and, based on your outstanding application we have also decided to award you with a Young Global Leaders scholarship, which will cover the complete cost of your registration, which includes tuition and five meals. We have chosen you based on your remarkable background and your commitment to global awareness.

The conference is taking place at the Syracuse Centre’s Faraday House at 48 Old Gloucester Street in downtown London on Friday April 27th through Sunday April 29th, 2007. On Friday, April 27th, registration and light refreshments will run from
1:00pm-1:30pm, with the conference starting promptly at 1:30pm and running until 8:15pm. On Saturday, April 28th, it will run from 9:15am (with breakfast from
8:00am-9:00am) until 5:00pm, when we will depart for guided walking tours of
London. On Sunday, April 29th, we will have breakfast from 9:00am-9:30am and the conference will end at 2:00pm. You can click here to see a picture of this building and a map or click here to see additional information about the Centre. The closest Tube stop are Russell Square and Holborn. At the conference, high-achieving, young American leaders living and studying abroad and their international peers will learn strategies for talking about global issues with the public, techniques for organizing town hall meetings on America’s role in the world, and have the opportunity to discuss methods for dealing with "reverse culture shock" after living abroad and postgraduate opportunities in international affairs. The summit will also feature high-level panel discussions. Click here to see the conference schedule. (Speakers are still being confirmed for some panels.) Our goal for the summit is both to engage in deep and well-informed conversation about human trafficking and to equip you with the skills to bring these conversations back to your campus. To prepare for the summit, you may want to take a quick look at several guides that we'll be going over during the course of the conference.

First, our organizers’ toolkits are kits of online materials that will help you to put together a town hall discussion on your campus as part of one of our global town hall series. We change the topics slightly each semester, but our current
initiatives are: (please note that they are directed towards U.S. students but are easily applicable to international students)
Hope Not Hate: The Future of U.S.-Muslim World Relations
Fighting for What’s Right: Reforming the International Trade System
Securing the Future: Oil Dependence, Climate Change, and You
A Better, Safer World: Stopping the Spread of Deadly Weapons
Being a Good Neighbor: The Future of U.S.-Latin American Relations
Global Governance for a Changing World: U.S., U.N., I.C.C.: U.N. reform & U.S. relations with the I.C.C.?

Second, the U.S. in the World Guide is a guide that will prepare you to discuss global issues with your peers and other Americans in the U.S. We’ll be going over this guide
briefly at the conference, so feel free to take a look at it now!

If you require accommodation in London we can recommend the Ashlee House hostel or the Generator Hostel. Prices range from ?11-?37. Please book with them directly.

We hope that the above materials get you excited about the retreat. We’ve selected you because of your extraordinary background, and because of your commitment to raising global consciousness within your university community and around the world. We are very excited to work with you in that effort. If you have any lingering questions or concerns, please visit our frequently asked questions page, e-mail me here at kchristie@aidemocracy.org or call me at +1 203-773-1202.

We are looking forward to seeing you in London for what is sure to be a fun and
energizing weekend of events.

With our best wishes,

Americans for Informed Democracy
45 Court Street
New Haven, CT 06511 U.S.A.
AIDemocracy.org

So it looks like I will be going to London at the end of April. I am so thankful for this opportunity that God has given me. It is my prayer that he will be glorified in all things that I am involved in while there. Since the scholarship does not cover travel and lodging, I need to get some fundraising done. I already have over $100 from a couple different people coming to me. I am a little nervous about the idea of fundraising. I have never been good at or comfortable with asking people for help when I need something, let alone want something. On the other hand, I know that if God wants me there, I have nothing to worry about. He will make a way for me and provide for me sufficiently.
Thanks to all of you for your steady prayers. Keep them coming! I love you.

"The heart that breaks open can contain the whole universe." ~ Joanna Macy

human trafficking 101...

Human trafficking is a form of modern day slavery. Wikipedia defines it as “the commercial trade of human beings, who are subjected to involuntary acts such as begging, sexual exploitation (prostitution, forced marriage, etc…), or unfree labor (involuntary servitude or working in sweatshops). Trafficking involves a process of using physical force, fraud, deception, or other forms of coercion or intimidation to obtain, recruit, harbor, and transport people.”

Trafficked people most often come from the poorer regions of the world, where opportunities are limited and are often from the most vulnerable in society (such as runaways, refugees, or other displaced persons), especially in post-conflict situations (Kosovo, Bosnia, etc…). But they also come from ANY social background, class, or race.

Generally, people who are seeking entry into other countries might be picked up by traffickers and misled into thinking that, upon being smuggled across the border of that country, they will be free.

Women and children are the groups that are most commonly targeted by traffickers and, therefore, have the highest victimization rates.

• •Children sold after parents having been deceived
• •Women misled into thinking they are getting good jobs
• •Men are also trafficked for hard labor or to work in restaurants, as janitors, in sweatshop factories, or in migrant agricultural work.

Escape from these conditions is difficult and extremely dangerous.

The US State Department estimates that 600,000 to 800,000 men, women, and children are trafficked across international borders each year. Of those, 80% are women and girls, and 50% are minors.

But this isn’t just happening internationally. A surprising 50,000 people are trafficked into or transited through the United States each year. After drug dealing, trafficking of humans is tied with arms (guns, etc…) dealing as the second largest criminal industry in the world, and it’s the fastest growing. Prior to October 2000 there was no comprehensive Federal law in place to protect victims of trafficking or to prosecute their traffickers.

What can YOU do?

• •Shop fair trade stores (10,000 Villages; World of Good; etc…)
• •Be aware of where all of your bought items are coming from. Old Navy and Wal-Mart have a history of using sweatshops.
  
• •Give “Loose Change to Loosen Chains.” Start a campaign in your area. It's a campaign originally designed for students and campuses but don't let that stop you. There is $10.5 billion in loose change in the United States alone every year. Let's give some of that to help free modern day slaves!
  
• •Go to International Justice Mission’s website by clicking on the link to find more ways you can help.
  
• PRAY!

(Information provided by Wikipedia)

a little o' this & a little o' that...

I am still waiting to hear about London. I was supposed to have heard this last Tuesday. So I emailed on Wednesday. She emailed back telling me not to worry, that they haven't gone through applications yet. And she said that I should know by this next week. So I am still waiting. Believe me, I will let everyone know just as soon as I know something.

Classes are well underway and I am loving most of them. I could actually do without my Intro to Paraprofessional Counseling II class. But the others: Psychology of Women, Peace Studies, and Expressions of Faith are really, really good. I am thoroughly enjoying them so far.

Today, I have felt a little agitated. I don't really know what it is. It's like, I really want to be alone right now and I can't go anywhere to get away from people. It's so exhausting. I just want to be by myself for a couple days. To think about things. To just chill. To just do whatever. It would help if I had a car. It comes out in how I talk to people too. And I really don't like that. I just want to tell them to leave me alone for a while. But it's different here. I could tell someone that and they would take it wrong. Like I said, it's so exhausting.

I saw Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth last night at a community dialogue thing. It was fascinating, depressing, and scary all at the same time. We watched it and then discussed in small groups for a while afterwards. When I am done here, I think I would like to live in an area where I don't need a car, so preferably somewhere where there's a mass transit system. I had no idea that the U.S. was the cause of the majority of the global warming crisis that's taking place. I walked there and it was interesting afterwards to see everyone else getting into their big expensive SUVs to drive home. I wanted to scream at them. But instead I just laughed at the irony of it all.

I have been thinking lately. I know, I know. Scary, right? Seriously though, when I was at the airport in Kansas City a few weeks ago, waiting to catch a flight to Salt Lake to to catch another one to Anchorage, I saw a little boy there. He couldn't have been more than 3 probably. But he was running in that way that toddlers do: cute and toddly. He ran right up to a woman sitting on the floor, a stranger, and looked at her and put his hand on her face. She smiled of course and made funny faces at him. He laughed and then held up his arms, just beckoning her to pick him up. I imagine she refused because she didn't know where his parents were and if they were watching, she didn't want to freak them out. So then he turned toward the woman's husband who was standing right next to her. And again, he held up his little toddler arms. And then his dad came running after him snatching him. The image hasn't left my mind since really. He was so trusting with complete strangers. He was just a boy standing in front of a couple asking them to love him. And he was refused. It tore my heart in two really. He's so young and he's already been refused the love that he so desperately wanted. Rejected, in a sense. Now I realize the couple's reaction, knowing his parents must be close by and not wanting to freak them out. But it was still painful to watch the little boy's mouth turn down a little. He was offering himself to them and was refused.

There are so many things that I have been thinking about because of this but the most persistent is this: When did I stop trusting people like that? He wasn't afraid to ask for what he wanted. He just put himself out there, so vulnerable and sweet and innocent. I don't really offer myself to people without them doing the same for me. I can be vulnerable but usually not before some vulnerability on the other's part generally. I wonder how many more friends I might have if I did this. But then conversely, I also wonder how many times the scene would have been the same. Me holding my arms out for someone or asking for something that I want only to be refused. Just some things I have been thinking about lately. And I have been praying that the little boy experiences little rejection in his life and that he will always be trusting and brave enough to ask for what he wants.

And because I now live in Seahawk country and I am rooting for neither the Colts nor the Bears, I am watching the Superbowl tomorrow strictly for the commercials. I couldn't care less who wins. But I hope your team wins, whoever it is.

Soon I am going to post some of the information on human trafficking that I have collected in my research. I know at least a couple of you requested that. It's coming soon.

Shalom.