a new beauty...

I am home. I landed in Kansas City yesterday afternoon and it was 70 degrees outside. My poppa met me at the airport with a full white beard, looking like Santa. It was so wonderful to see him. We went straight to Chipotle, how I have missed Chipotle, and we sat outside and ate and watched the shoppers at Legends Shopping Center. Then we met up with my sisters and I saw all seven of my nieces and nephews. Two of them don't remember me and it makes me so sad. But it was such a joy to see and play with the rest of them. One of them, Hannah Grace, called me "Aunt Christmas" last year when I was home. It was so precious. She is beautiful. They are all beautiful. It was such a perfect day. We then met up with my friend Heather and she and I went to my aunt's house for the night. I was overwhelmed with the city. It was as if I was seeing it all for the first time. It was beautiful. A beauty I haven't seen before.

I was pretty exhausted and sick, having been up for about 36 hours so we called it an early night. I tried to go to sleep at 9:30 but then it occurred to me how long it had been since I had heard trains. I used to sleep right through them. They kept me awake for a bit but I finally slept. And then I awoke when my fever broke at 11:30. The trains were still clickety-clacking and choo-chooing. I got back to sleep a while later and slept through the night. My aunt had set out breakfast for us and it was wonderful. Heather and I went to church at my home church, Heartland Community Church. I hadn't told many people so it was wonderful to see the surprised looks on some faces. A friend, Chad Rader, said, "Wow! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes!" It was so good to be back there, among friends. I have missed it. I didn't realize how much I had missed it until today. I do. I miss it so much. It makes me ache a little. Or a lot.

Heather and I grabbed a quick lunch and then drove to Kirksville, MO; it's about 3 hours northeast of Kansas City. I was about to comment on how beautiful the drive was when she said, "This drive is so ugly and boring." When I lived here I thought the same thing. But now? Now that I have been gone for so long I have a new appreciation for everything. There's a new beauty that I am seeing. It's odd too, in a way. Everywhere that I have been to since I have been home has looked exactly the same as when I left. It's so strange. I have changed so much since I have been gone and for some reason I expected home to change too. But it hasn't. Sure, the people have but the city is the same. Does that make sense? I was so shocked by it. It's all so beautiful. Now I have an idea of what my friend Amy has been talking about all the times she's said that it's so beautiful here. I never believed her. Until now.

Something just occurred to me... and maybe this is sad. Or maybe it's not, I don't know. But it took me leaving to make me want to stay.