a heavy week... a heavy heart...

It's been quite a week here at Alaska Christian College. All regular classes were cancelled and we instead did a one-week intensive Biblical Counseling training session with the Schnupps. Apparently they are pretty widely known and acclaimed Bible counselors who come to ACC once a year to hold this workship. We had a lot of lectures and received some counseling as well. It's been a very intense, emotional week but also very productive in terms of growth for me and I think for the campus as a whole. Some things came up for me that I have not dealt with. It was good to begin the healing process and start to see some changes for me internally. I know there is more healing that needs to take place but this week was cathartic. I have a new-found hope.

Today was also a sad day. Every Friday we gather for "Family Matters." It's just a time when we come together as a community, as a family, and just talk about issues. Sometimes it's a happy thing and sometimes it's not. Today was a "not" day. One of our students left today. He was the first one all semester and when you're a small community - or large family, rather - you feel it and you feel it deeply. I understand the reasons he had to go but it just breaks my heart to see someone hurting so badly that they that they choose to not take the path that would have led him to full restoration. I think back over my interactions with him. Was I always kind? Did my heart reach out to his? Did I do everything I could to bring him along side on the road to Jesus? Sadly, I had to answer no to those questions. I wasn't always kind. I did try to reach out to him but didn't do EVERYTHING I could. If I had, perhaps he would still be here. That is what breaks my heart the most, I think. Could I have made the significant difference he would have needed? I know God has a plan for this young man in his life and I just have to pray and have faith that God will raise him up out of proverbial death and revive his heart and heal him in all the broken places. All those places that are too ugly to show so we hide them under our masks. God wants to give him a crown of beauty instead of ashes. That has to be enough for me.