a funny thing happened on my way home from work last night...

On my way home from work last night I went to Best Buy last night to buy Ray Lamontagne's and Joss Stone's CDs. I ended up with those PLUS a CD titled Johnny Cash's 16 Biggest Hits. It was $5.99 and it's Johnny Cash, come on, you can't pass that up! So I take my purchases to the check out counter and the guy looks first at Joss Stone and says, "Oh we've been selling a lot of this. She must be pretty good." Then he moves on to Ray Lamontagne and makes no comment. When he gets to Johnny Cash he stops and thinks and says, "Johnny Cash eh? I have never heard of him. Is he any good?" I am not even kidding about this. I think I must have had this look on my face somewhere between disgust and horror and shock. I mean who hasn't heard of Johnny Cash? So then I ask, "How old are you?" "26," he says. Now I am even more shocked; that's only a little over a year younger than me. Where's this guy been hiding all those years when The Man in Black was still alive? Then he kinda gets all red because I think I would be embarassed if I hadn't heard of Johnny Cash. He tries to cover by coming up with, "Oh well, I think I have heard that one song he does. You know that one. The one that was really big. I don't know how it goes or the name of it. But I am pretty sure I have heard it." Uh-huh. Okay. Sure. That one, cause you know there was only ONE song that he did that was big and I am buying this cd now that has in big letters 16 Biggest Hits across the top. I didn't say that. But I sooo wanted to. I told him to buy the cd. I mean it's only $5.99 and I am sure he gets a discount.

I leave and drive home. I come to a stop light. The man in another lane and a little bit in front of me flings open his car door and comes stomping over to my window. He proceeds to yell at me for things I am not quite sure of. All I could think was I wonder if he knows that mullets and tapered stone-washed jeans are out. Way out! Like, at least 15 years ago out! Maybe it's a costume. That must be it. Oh - is that a doberman in his car? And is that his car door open? All the while, he's flailing his hands wildly literally screaming at me. Of course, everyone around us is staring. I still have no idea what his problem is. I think I remember hearing something about not stopping at a stop sign or something like that. There are NO stop signs anywhere on that stretch of road that I had just been on. The light turns green. I leave him there yelling at the wind. Now that I think about it I feel kinda bad but honestly I was scared! Really scared! I have never had anyone get out of their car and come yell at my car window before. I am sad for him because he has anger issues. Road rage issues. I had no idea if he had a knife or a gun hidden somewhere. And the doberman? Yeah. He left his car door open. I am surprised the dobey didn't come and bite my tires or something. SCARY! That's when I realize I left my phone at Best Buy. I wanted it just in case the guy came after me or something so I could dial 9-1-1 or 1-800-CRAZY!

I go back to Best Buy, get my phone and head for home thinking I will live happily ever after. Only I get the cd home and tear it open to put it in the cd player. That's when I discover that Johnny doesn't actually sing on the cd. At all. Not anywhere. It's one of those "tribute" cds. Nowhere on the outside of the cd does it say that - ANYWHERE! I looked. And then looked again to be sure. I feel misled. I feel cheated. It has Sheryl Crow, Bruce Springsteen, Dwight Yoakam, and a bunch of other people singing his songs. They're all great singers but it's not what I wanted. I thought I was getting a real bargain. Isn't that, like, false advertising or something?