call to the masses...
This is an urgent prayer request... I would say things are peachy, but I'd be lying. I take forever to open up Yeah, I put on a good appearance. A show. A facade. I'm not smart. I'm not It's sad to know you were dragging someone down. What is the meaning of life? To suffer? To see how much crap you will take before you break? Well, I'm brittle. Weak and shallow. I know many have it 1000 times worse. I'm not trying to be Woe is Me. I'm looking for a way to escape all this pain. I'm sad.
I have a friend that I have had since high school who means a great deal to me that is in a very painful state right now. He is contemplating suicide. He is not a believer. He grew up Mormon and is now in more of an agnostic belief than anything else. Knowing that he's sensitive to conversations about God, I have witnessed to him in very mild, non-confrontational ways. He knows I attend a Christian college and that I am studying the Bible, and that I am a Christian but I haven't really shared with him the depth of my experiences and transformation. I am hesitant to do so because of his past experiences and because of his sensitivity to that subject. My heart grieves and hurts for him. Here's an excerpt from an email that I received from him just today:
He does not read this blog so I am not worried about that. And I will not share his name with you given the nature of his state. I just beg of you to please lift him up in your prayers. Incessantly. And lift me up as well that I might receive from the Holy Spirit the right words to say to him when he calls me tomorrow night as he's promised. Pray that I would be sensitive to his situation and not "turn him off" so to speak, to the Word of God. Thanks in advance for all your prayers for my friend.
to someone, but once I do I go all out. I exposed myself more to this girl
than I ever have anyone before. She knew me better than my own family.
When someone that close leaves you, saying they have found better, what does
that say about me? A knife wound would heal faster. I feel worthless.
nice. I don't know how to treat people well. I can't see the screen cause
I'm breaking apart. :-( I appreaciate you being my friend. Thank you for
being you. Putting up with me. I hope she is happy. I hope he treats her well.
3 comments:
The gospel is a confrontation. It sounds to me like this one needs to know his true worth, he needs to know that there is one who knows that he is worth the life of the most high God, he must know that his worth is not based upon what others think of him or how well he performs, but rather on the true word of God, his creator. The one who made him for his purposes, loves him and wants him to accept his love. In this case you are Lucia, and he is Ponchenello.
I agree with the previous commenter that the gospel is confrontational. You cannot share with truth with someone without it causing conviction, but there is certainly a way to share that avoids condemnation. I will pray that you are assertive without being agressive. The Holy Spirit will help you speak the truth in love. It sounds to me like he made this girl his "god," and we all know that looking to someone or something for the fulfillment that only God can bring will ultimately disappoint us and leave us nursing a God-shaped hole.
I will definitely pray for you and him.
having dealt with a boyfriend who after we broke up threatened suicide i can definately relate. it is really scary to see someone you love so dearly sit and say that they dont think they are worth enough to be alive. the other thing i offer to you is this, for a really long time i was running from god and did not believe that there was a god because of how much pain i was in day to day, i too have had (a long time ago) suicidal thoughts, and i can for certain say that if someone at that point in time had tried to tell me about god, it would not have gone over well...my best suggestion to you (im not saying deny god or to not be you, but..) let him know what is wonderful about him, what you think makes him unique and special and why you still care so much about him (since its obviously been a while since high school), he is hurting right now like only a few can imagine and so he needs to know that its ok to feel pain, that it will go away and that he is loved by many people. also its a good sign that he emailed you...he is reaching out right now because we all have that survival instinct, he may be saying it would be better off dead but by telling you this he is asking for help the only way he can put it right now...i think the most important thing is to just be there for him and make sure that you for your sake talk to someone about this to keep yourself in a right place of mind, remember you ultimately can only control your own actions, they have to want to change which for me has been a hard thing to deal with.
lucky for me im still here, my ex boyfriend chose life and i finally stopped running from god and in my own time gave my life to him.
my prayers are with you and may god bless you and keep both of you.
email me if you need a place to vent or talk.
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