the poetry of God...

What a fabulous weekend I had! It was the perfect balance of relaxing and refueling alone and spending time with old friends and connecting with new ones.

I spent yesterday afternoon watching The Horse Whisperer again - for about the umpteenth time. I love that movie for many reasons but mostly I am struck every time by the landsape of Montana. I long to be there. Every time I watch that movie I yearn, strain, long, literally ache to be there. To be where it is quiet save for horses whinnying and God's whisper on the breeze. To live where life moves at an unhurried pace. To be where the only pressing thing on the agenda is making sure the animals are fed and the cows milked. I watch that movie and think That's poetry in it's purest form. Poetry unscripted, unwritten, unspoken. Beautiful. Crisp. Poignant. I have never been to Montana but I want to live there because of this movie. But then it's not just Montana - it's anywhere where there are mountains and meadows for miles and plenty of fresh air to go around.

I get this feeling whenever I am in the mountains that that is where I am meant to be. It's where I feel most alive. Most at home. Most at rest. Most myself. Most in tune with God and who he is. Worship is made so real to me there; I feel more in the presence of my God. How could you see the mountains and not know there is a God? He is there. He created them. He lives there. There where the land shoots up in majestic spikes and the valleys are lush and green and the cool breeze plays gently across my face and blows my chestnut hair out in the wind. As I look back through the Bible and just throughout history, the mountains seem to me to be very mysterious. At times they are used as hiding places or safe places - a refuge, other times they are places of battle and fighting other times as places to where you are highly visible, at times people went there to meet with God. They are described in the Bible as both beautiful and majestic and also as rugged and jagged. It's so interesting to me. I love the mountains. I feel I belong there. Someday I will live there - anywhere where there are mountains.

After watching the movie yesterday I wanted to be outside in the perfect weather. I went to Shawnee Mission Park and sat on the dock with the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. It's a fantastic book so far about the mysteries of the heart of women. I was shocked by how accurate they describe feelings I have and how accurate their descriptions of my desires were. I sat on the dock reading for 4 hours letting my feet play in the surprisingly warm water and letting my hair get gently blown in the cool breeze coming off the water. I felt beautiful and it struck me - probably a combination of what I was reading and my surroundings - I feel most beautiful outdoors. I felt relaxed and carefree and when I feel carefree I am confident. When I feel confident I feel beautiful. I have always felt at home outdoors, whether there are mountains around or not. I then started thinking how really that makes perfect sense: I feel so at home in the home that God created for me. Nature was his creation and I am his creation and I was made in his likeness. He created the heavens and the earth and all the animals and the mountains and the water and said, "It is good." If I am in tune with God and he loved and was pleased with his creation so much, it makes sense for me to feel the most alive outdoors enjoying what he created for me to enjoy and look after. It was a profound afternoon for me yesterday.

And today I feel rested, rejuvenated, relaxed, refueled, re-energized. I feel ALIVE and at peace. I feel God blessed me with poetry all weekend long through amazing friends, through creation, through reading, through worship, through providing me with the confidence to let myself play, really play in the lake yesterday - even if it was only my feet. I splashed and splashed and kicked letting the water come up and get my pants wet. I didn't care - it was poetry, the poetry of God.

May God bless you all as much as he has blessed me!